Smurfs: It’s Smurfilicious

Smurfs, sex, and insanity, I did this on
an open Diary thingy long ago, and
thought I'd post it for the sake
of sounding stupid

Someone had a little “Theory” about Smurfs, and I’d like to whine about it. Warning: I don’t know if I’m getting any of the names right, or even spelling half my words correctly…deal with it.

Sex: First of all, if the Smurfs were sexual at all, they wouldn’t be heterosexual or even homosexual. They would be hermaphrodites, having both male and female organs. Think about it, all those little buggers look the same, all are looked upon as male, but how could they reproduce?

What’s that you say…what about Smurfette? Well sorry my dears, but Smurfette hasn’t always been there. In fact, Gragamel created Smurfette. Thus she is somewhat unnatural to their lifestyles. If I remember correctly, smurfs have an extremely long lifespan, meaning they have had many generations to live a life as hermaphrodites.

Which makes me wonder, didn’t some smurfs have a crush on Smurfette? How can this be, how can they be attracted to something that has be unknown to them? Perhaps she is considered Erotic, but I would imagine that she would be shunned by a few of them.

Papa Smurf: Well, there can be many theories why he is the only older one, but I think a bloodthirsty one is more interesting to call upon. Papa smurf is a cult leader, the smurfs, his followers. Now we can assume that the older the smurf is, the wiser, so what better way to keep his followers sheep, then slaughtering the ones who get too old. In fact, I bet his sacrificed them to his God(s).

Perhaps those 7-9 smurfs that actually have personalities are the ones who have survived the killing. Papa’s going to need someone to take over, perhaps he’s just seeing which one is worthy, ready to take down those who show any weakness. Mwuhahaha
Right, now that I spent all that time to write bullshit a 12:30 at night, I should get a hobby.