The Egg

Once upon a time, in a land of bitter resentment, lived a little egg. Now this little egg was a some-what special little egg, because well, he defiantly wasn't gifted, if you know what I mean. What this little egg wanted most in the world, was to fly. (now you know why he's special) People were always telling him, that he could do all things if he believed in himself. Although they always said this in a "I pity you, do you even understand me?" sort of voice.

So the little egg went out into the forest and tried to fly. He began flapping his arm ...when he realized, he didn't have any. (He's an egg you fool!) The little egg had no idea how he would fly, and since he had the brainpower of a dying, beheaded ant, he wasn't thinking of giving up.

It was then he remembered what the wise bluebird said once "Follow your heart. and all things are possible" Even though the blue bird committed suicide and took out a whole bunch of people at K-mart, the little egg felt he was right. So he climbed a tree (don't even ask me how) and began to meditate.

After 2 hours of intense constriction. the little egg saw that nothing was happening. So he took mass amounts of LSD, and jump from the tree, yelling, "I believe I believe I believe" And he began to fly! oh how soared, for exactly 3.4 sec. And then he went flying full speed at the ground. (Enter gross squashing sound here) Sadly the little egg was broken into 100's of tiny little gooey pieces.

The moral of the story: Eggs can't clap. Neither can they fly.