Note: I made this into a book for my creative writing class. My
name is Melinda, and I make fun of my town in here. The ending
blows, but mostly due to the fact the teacher made me change it
a few time. She didn't like the idea that I killed off myself
in the end. Also, this isn't as fun to stare at as the book, because
it's all one chunk, rather then page and pages of stupidity.
Once
upon a time, in a land far, far away. There lived a funny little
girl named Melinda. She lived in such an utterly boring place,
which if it really did exist, it would become a black hold and
suck everything into its vortex of nothingness ...called Canyon
Country
One
day she was walking to school (get this children, they must have
used a lot of creativity to make this up) Canyon High. As she
walked she saw an old tree.. She began to think... (And let me
tell you children, thinking isn't something Melinda does very
well) ... that the tree was happier then she was. (For what ever
deranged reason she had)
She
began to ponder all this. "They must have some secret!"
said Melinda to herself. So she knelt down in front of the tree.
"O mighty tree, speak to me, tell me of your distinctive
ways to happiness" she cried. So the tree replied "Ok."
(Now
let me tell you children, Melinda didn't expect the tree to answer
her schizophrenic-like question. She still had a few lights on
upstairs, if you know what I mean. A few, but some nevertheless)
Right
there and then Melinda lost all touch with reality. She begged
the tree to show her the way. "Great One, tell me of your
treeism ways. I want to know the secret of life." That was
when the tree replied, " Jello is Good"
"Jello??"
Melinda wondered out loud "Does it hold some power? Is Jello
some sort of mystical thing? Do the colors each hold there own
unique and bizarre power?"
"Mystical
Jello!" laughed Melinda." Surly this is some sort of
joke. Tell me wise old tree, what does this mean." Still
the tree just calmly relied "I like Jello"
Melinda
was confused (Let me tell you children, that happens quite often)
"Tell me wonderful tree who says things I do not Understand,
it that all there is?" she said angrily. "Just the thought
of Jell-O makes this tree happy? Is it that simple?" cried
Melinda.
You
could almost hear Melinda's sanity snapping into two. Just like
the sound you wouldn't hear as you squished a marshmallow. All
of the sudden the tree started chanting strange things in the
form of psycho babble.
" I am your fairy godmother" replied the tree rather
quickly
"Really" answered Melinda
"No..but you should have seen the look on your face.
Melinda just them realized that the tree said something other
then the fact on how much it likes Jello "Melinda" said
the wise old tree, "Because you understand me. It must mean
they you are the chosen one. So I shall give you a present....your
very own world.
Right
then a portal opened, splashing with psychedelic colors (no children,
Melinda was not one drugs) "Hurry" cried the tree. Go
through the portal, and you shall become Mystical Jello"
The tree smiled, for it knew Melinda's thoughts from before. "How
can trees smile with out a face" thought Melinda, "And
how can they even talk" Melinda could not ask this question,
for she was already through the portal.
....Then
Melinda woke up, It was all a dream. It was probably due to the
fact she ate to many happy brownies the night before. Maybe it
was from the chocolate pudding, or even that strange strawberry
she found in an abandon warehouse. Melinda was sad because she
had to leave her dream world for a mundane reality. Fear
not she said to herself. For tonight might bring more
dreams of Mystical Jello and the old wise tree.
And
the moral of this story, children, is:
Reality
is for those who cannot handle the powers true madness provides
us.